Peer pressure in teens

Peer pressure (or social pressure) is the direct influence on people by peers, or the effect on an individual who gets encouraged to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values or behaviours to conform to those of the influencing group or individual.

There are a few positives and negatives to peer pressure, a few of them will be listed below.

Positive peer pressure:

·       Being encouraged to join sports clubs.

·       Respecting others.

·       Being honest.

·       Working hard, leading to achievement.

·       Volunteering.

Negative peer pressure:

·       Drinking alcohol or the use of prohibited substances.

·       Smoking.

·       Experimenting with drugs.

·       Being encouraged to fight someone.

·       Stealing.

·       Bullying or teasing others.

·       Skipping school

·       Doing anything you do not want to do.

What we now call “virtual peer pressure” has crossed walls, telephones, parents, and direct social lives, and is reaching you wherever you might be, forcing you to do things such as drug abuse, alcohol consumption, and much more. Today, social media is an additional aspect of peer pressure, creating new power to influence your life, negatively or positively.

‌‌let’s‌ ‌have‌ ‌a‌ ‌closer‌ ‌look‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌role‌ ‌of‌ ‌social‌ ‌media‌ ‌in‌ ‌peer‌ ‌pressure:‌ ‌Nowadays,‌ ‌you‌‌ ‌‌may‌ ‌‌spend‌ ‌hours‌ ‌on‌ ‌‌various‌ ‌‌social‌ ‌media‌ ‌accounts‌ ‌to‌ ‌boost‌ ‌your‌ ‌social‌ ‌standing‌. ‌This‌ ‌may‌ ‌compel‌ ‌you‌‌ ‌‌to‌ ‌do‌ ‌things‌ ‌you‌ ‌shouldn’t‌ ‌do‌‌‌ ‌or aren’t ‌even‌ ‌keen‌ ‌to‌ ‌do. ‌ ‌For‌ ‌example: ‌ ‌ ‌

• When‌ ‌you‌ ‌view‌ ‌posts,‌ ‌images,‌ ‌videos‌,‌‌ ‌and‌ ‌statuses‌ ‌of‌ ‌friends‌ ‌indulging‌ ‌in‌ ‌inappropriate or forbidden‌ ‌activities,‌ ‌this‌ ‌‌may‌ ‌‌provoke‌ ‌you‌ ‌to‌ ‌do‌ ‌the‌ ‌same and put‌ ‌you‌ ‌‌‌‌‌‌under‌ ‌‌‌‌pressure‌ ‌‌to‌ ‌blend‌‌‌ ‌and‌ ‌‌may‌‌ force‌‌ ‌you‌ ‌to‌ ‌‌indulge‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌same‌‌ ‌‌behaviour‌‌.

• The fear of missing out it may be so powerful that you unintentionally start being attracted to these activities.

• The “cool” teen now in your school or neighborhood is the influencer on social media who spreads trends to other teens. Based on what they say, you are either accepted or rejected.

"Virtual peer pressure”, you face it almost daily without even understanding it. These days, your friends, peers, and other people your age take minutes to reject fellow peers and create hate groups against them.

This new type of peer pressure is not going away after school; it is online and here to stay. Social media is supposed to be a “cool” online platform to engage each other, meet more people, show the best of what you can do, and support each other. Instead, however, it has become a weapon for bullies who use it to spread their views about anyone publicly without realizing the impact of their words and actions on you and others.

How can you help yourself with negative peer pressure?

The below tips can be applied in both offline and online life situations:

• Observe people and the groups with whom they socialize. Observe what they do and their actions. Make positive choices about who you spend time with, instead of joining a group just because it is there.

• Avoid and stop situations that present problems and bad behaviour, such as parties where no adults are present, and situations where you will have to "prove yourself" to be accepted as part of the group.

• Are you being asked to do something trivial, like wearing a piece of clothing you wouldn't normally choose?, Or are you being asked to do something that might have permanent health or legal consequences, like using drugs or drinking and driving?

  • Say "No" forcefully and with eye contact. If you do not believe yourself, no one else will either.

  • You do not need to apologize for your individuality.

  • Find a friend; someone who feels the same way you do and who will support your decision to say no or leave immediately and ask for support from your parents.

• If you know that when you go to the mall with your friends, they will shoplift, decide how you will handle the situation before you go or make an excuse to stay home.

• If you are in a situation where there is conflict, walk away, and find new friends. If your friends are forcing you to drop school or smoke, for example, leave and find new friends. Even if you find it hard, the good results will show later.

• Know why you are doing whatever you are doing every day. Be aware of your actions. You make the choice. Do not let others do it for you. Do not let your friends decide what you are going to do.

• Get involved in positive activities, such as sports, volunteering, or youth clubs. Look for people who share your interests outside your circle of school friends. Having several different friends who accept you gives you choices and options, rather than being dependent on only one group of friends.

• If you are constantly feeling sad, or worried, or unaware of how to act, it means you are affected by peer pressure, either in the digital world or in the real one. Understand That not everything posted on social media is real and stop comparing yourself to other people’s posts. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday and focus on being a better version of yourself.

• Embrace yourself. You are not alone in this. Many other teenagers, friends, and parents are facing the same pressure. Just talk about it in front of other people and see how many react to it. It is always a good topic for discussion with your new and old friends, and even for a good online post.

If you have the feeling that what you are doing is not the result of your own decision or belief, ask yourself if what you are doing is helping you become better than you were yesterday. Will it lead to a positive result or not? The answers are yours, and it takes an extra effort to come up with them.

Feel free to always ask for support from parents or school counsellors.